The Pursuit of Happiness, For Real? Seriously?
By Tex
Norman | Submitted On September 15, 2008
Happiness is a
concept. Our Founding Fathers wrote that we have the right of life,
liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness, NOT life, liberty, and
happiness. We chase down happiness. We search for it. We want it, long for
it, obsess over it, but happiness either remains out of reach, or, when it
comes, its stay is brief. Perhaps it would be better to identified happiness by
some other word.
Am I saying that happiness
does not exist? No. Not exactly. Happiness is a word describing a pleasant
state, but it is, in the end, just a word. I believe that when we use the
word happiness we rarely describe a present state, but
instead, happiness is something in the future, something coming eventually, we
hope. My experience with happiness is that it is the result of immersing myself
so completely in a positive moment that everything else is temporarily driven
from my mind.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in
harmony. ~Mahatma Gandhi
Again, happiness is
a word, and perhaps, when you are immersed in a moment, and forget everything
else, a better word might have been selected.
If you child almost
dies and is inexplicably saved, snatched from the jaws of death at the last
moment, mama is happy, but that feeling is also relief. The sudden lifting of
fear is being labeled as happiness. I remember a first grader joke: "Why'd
the little moron keep hitting himself in the head with a hammer? Because it
felt so good when he stopped."
The relief of pain
could be described as happiness, but it seems like something else to me.
[I know little moron is a bad thing to say, but in the 1950s when I was
in grade school, and the Three Stooges were the height of humor, moron seemed
like an OK word, and, in truth, I didn't know what the word meant.]
If you propose
marriage and your love interest says, "YES," that is also relief,
that you were not rejected, but it also is something other than happiness. When
the woman says YES the man may be imagining the fulfillment of a lot of his
yearnings: regular sex, the elimination of dating stress, a helper in obtaining
and establishing a home, children, and on and on it goes. At the moment the
proposal is accepted all these nuptial joys are not yours, but your mind is
thinking you are on the road to getting all of that marital bliss.
I am about to be married, and am of course in all the misery of a man in
pursuit of happiness. ~Lord Byron
For years, in my
mind, I thought that happiness could be obtained and possessed, and it would
last indefinitely. The stories from my childhood promised that in the end it
was indeed possible to live "happily ever after."
Perhaps there are
fleeting moments of happiness, but they are only the result of immersing
yourself so completely in a moment that you choose to block out the natural
progression of your thoughts. But for one to truly exist in a simple state of
happiness - to just BE happy - indefinitely? That, I believe, is impossible.
To me buyer's
remorse means that you bought something, and once you had it, you
realized that it is not making you as happy as you thought it was going to, and
so, instead of being happy, you bought the new car, or house, or dress, or
shoes, you suddenly realize you have saddled yourself with a payment that is
going add pressure to your life, or that the dress makes your butt look big, or
that the shoes pinch. At the moment, buyer's remorse sets in,
you may realize that you were happier when you just wanted the car, or when you
were saving for the house, or shopping for the perfect dress.
My friend and
former spiritual advisor, Father Jim Taylor, would remind me to count my
blessings. He would urge me to go to the cancer ward and minister to the
patients there, and then I would realize how blessed my life is, and then I
would be happy with what I have.
I found that I do,
briefly feel more content after comparing my blessed self to
the less fortunate, but it isn't happiness. No matter what I have,
I want more. If I get a job, I long for a bonus, a raise, or a different job
that pays more. If I have a good apartment, I start thinking about a
condominium, or maybe a single family home. Once I get the home, I want a new
roof, or a hot tub, and on and on I go pursuing happiness, that
happiness remains, always, just beyond my reach.
Why can't I just be
happy? Nothing is ever enough. In my life there is no such thing as
sufficiency. Every accomplishment is followed by a new goal.
Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. ~Andre Gide
In my life
happiness is not a sentence; it is, at best, the punctuation. In my life
sentence, happiness is not even all the punctuation, but just one part of the
punctuation. Happiness is the semicolon of my life; being there, but not often.
I am working to turn happiness into the commas of my life. [That's pursing
happiness, isn't it?]
It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in
the happiness of pursuit. ~Denis Waitley
What would the
world be like if people were actually brimming with happiness? What if
happiness was always spilling over everywhere? What if everyone was bursting
with joyful happiness? Would we really want to live in a world where people
were bursting right and left? I think of true happiness as being a delirious
sensation of whacky joy, but can society really function if most people are
zany and giggling all the time?
The Buddha warns
that craving and desire bring suffering. Is the pursuit of happiness one of
those cravings that will ultimately end in suffering or disappointment? Could
wanting to be happy actually be the cause of unhappiness?
But do we want to
live in a world where everyone is all bland, not wanting anything, just being
and nothingness. As the old joke goes: "I was born with nothing
and I still have most of it."
True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough
for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. ~Charles
Caleb Colton
At this time in my
life, I believe that happiness is the pursuit of happiness. I am closer to
happy when I am working on something that I think is going to bring me relief,
or pleasure.
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~Dalai Lama
I'm sure you have
heard of buyers remorse. To me buyer's remorse means
that you bought something, and once you had it, you realized that it is not
making you as happy as you thought it was going to, and so, instead of being
happy, you bought the new car, or house, or dress, or shoes, you suddenly
realize you have saddled yourself with a payment that is going add pressure to
your life, or that the dress makes your butt look big, or that the shoes pinch.
At the moment, buyer's remorse sets in, you may realize that
you were happier when you just wanted the car, or when you were saving for the
house, or shopping for the perfect dress.
My friend and
former spiritual advisor, Father Jim Taylor, would remind me to count my
blessings. He would urge me to go to the cancer ward and minister to the
patients there, and then I would realize how blessed my life is, and then I
would be happy with what I have.
I found that I do,
briefly feel more content after comparing my blessed self to
the less fortunate, but it isn't happiness. No matter what I have,
I want more. If I get a job, I long for a bonus, a raise, or a different job
that pays more. If I have a good apartment, I start thinking about a
condominium, or maybe a single family home. Once I get the home, I want a new
roof, or a hot tub, and on and on I go pursuing happiness, that
happiness remains, always, just beyond my reach.
Why can't I just be
happy? Nothing is ever enough. In my life there is no such thing as
sufficiency. Every accomplishment is followed by a new goal.
Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. ~Andre Gide
In my life
happiness is not a sentence; it is, at best, the punctuation. In my life
sentence, happiness is not even all the punctuation, but just one part of the punctuation.
Happiness is the semicolon of my life; being there, but not often. I am working
to turn happiness into the commas of my life. [That's pursing happiness, isn't
it?]
It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in
the happiness of pursuit. ~Denis Waitley
What would the
world be like if people were actually brimming with happiness? What if
happiness was always spilling over everywhere? What if everyone was bursting
with joyful happiness? Would we really want to live in a world where people
were bursting right and left? I think of true happiness as being a delirious
sensation of whacky joy, but can society really function if most people are
zany and giggling all the time?
The Buddha warns
that craving and desire bring suffering. Is the pursuit of happiness one of
those cravings that will ultimately end in suffering or disappointment? Could
wanting to be happy actually be the cause of unhappiness?
But do we want to
live in a world where everyone is all bland, not wanting anything, just being
and nothingness. As the old joke goes: "I was born with nothing
and I still have most of it."
True contentment depends not upon what we have; a tub was large enough
for Diogenes, but a world was too little for Alexander. ~Charles
Caleb Colton
Tex Norman
http://thegentlejourney.blogspot.com/
http://stores.lulu.com/texnorman
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