The Secret to Lasting Happiness

 

The Secret to Lasting Happiness

By Devin Licastro  |   Submitted On December 02, 2009

 

I believe that everyone in this world is striving to, in their own unique way, find their own happiness. People have vastly different personalities, beliefs, religions, values, and ideals but in the end, no matter which path we take through life we all just want to end up in a place where we can simply be happy.

Words are just symbols so when I use the word happy I'm referring to a lasting joy that permeates your being on a daily bases. My use of the term happiness can refer to a sense of inner peace, joy, bliss and fulfillment. When I talk about the secret of happiness I'm mean reaching a state in your life where your default state is happiness, and that happiness is present in your being for the vast majority of the time.

As I've travelled I've met a good number of people all with different life situations and levels of happiness. I've met people with very easy lives surrounded by loving friends who wake up every day bored, discontent or even annoyed with their situation. I've met financially wealthy people who in a fit of anger about their unhappiness scream "I can buy or do anything I want! Shouldn't that be enough!?" and I've also met financially poorer people, with busy more difficult lives who can't keep a beautiful smile off their face due to their everyday lasting happiness. This definitely posed the question in me, what's the difference? What is the secret to happiness?

In order to find the secret of happiness we have to ask and answer a very important question. What is it exactly that makes a person happy? People have many ideals for what they want in their lives to make them happy. For some its financial abundance, for others its loving relationships, some want a sense of fulfillment from helping others, others want to feel successful in the career they pursue, and some simply want to be free from oppression or persecution. A more balanced person will decide happiness comes from achieving a degree of success and harmony in all of the important areas of his life, something that is far easier said than done. Now while pursuing these things these things can create varying degrees of outward happiness, are they really the secret to happiness? Let's look deeper.

Filling the hole is not going to make you happy

If I could only just get that new high paying job, then I'd be happy. If I could only just escape my small home town, then I'd be happy. If I could only just find the perfect lover, then I'd be happy. Many people have the single ideal goal that they believe once achieved will allow them to finally have the happiness they've been pursuing. They feel a certain lack in their lives and until that emptiness is filled they will live in a less than happy state. The feeling of lack in this area they carry with them also helps to prevent them from fulfilling it. The truth is however, even after accomplishing that one thing that you're sure will finally make you happy for the rest of your life, in reality... is not going to change things all that much. Sure you will find temporary joy and pride at finally accomplishing the thing you set out to do, but as fast as a fancy new car loses its once exciting appeal, the happiness you got from accomplishing the goal will slowly fade, or be replaced by new goals and desires that you will again be sure, that once you accomplish them will finally make you happy.

One of the reasons you can't find lasting happiness at the accomplishment of a certain something comes from our amazing ability to adapt to our life situations. When there is something missing in our lives we feel that filling the void will give us that extra 'thing' we need but once the void is filled we adapt to our new situation and the extra thing becomes the new normal. Our problems or things that make us unhappy are always relative to our current situation. A homeless person who is handed a sandwich by a stranger can feel the same or more joy than a business man who is taken out to a fancy 5 course lobster dinner. Because happiness is relative it's very hard to achieve lasting happiness by adding things, people or accomplishments to your life.

What if for some reason the above doesn't apply to you. Maybe you practice feeling gratitude for the things in your life and you have found a way to constantly feel grateful for all the things you have without becoming too 'used to them' that they lose their appeal. There is still another underlying problem that threatens your lasting happiness, and that is the impermanence of life.

The impermanence of life

The world is in a constant state of change, and the fact is that nothing is permanent and nothing lasts forever. If your happiness comes from your money there is always a fear of losing it. If your happiness comes from your beauty you will someday become old and wrinkled. If your happiness comes from your friends, family or lover, they will someday leave this world or we may be separated from them. There is always a way to lose that which makes you happy, or have it taken from you. The more we deny this and the more desperately we try to hold onto the things we need, the more unhappy we will be when they are gone. This fact may seem, grim and depressing but that is only the case if you falsely believe that happiness needs to come from all of these outside impermanent things. There is one permanent thing and it is the only true source of lasting happiness. It can take a little effort to find, but it is free and always available to us.

Happiness comes from within

Can you be completely happy just taking a walk through nature? Can you feel peace sitting alone in silence? If you were stranded on a deserted island could you still be joyful?

In the core of everyone is their default emotional state. When there is no outside forces distracting you, and your mind is free from thinking of the past or future what do you feel? Is your default state one of peace or is it something negative like boredom, depression or mild annoyance?

I believe that deep within all of us at our cores is a feeling of deep peace and joy but often times in life we become so disconnected from within that we lose sight of it and the inner peace almost seems to fade away. We become so distracted by everything on the outside that we don't have time to focus on what's deep within us. For many people our minds never give us a chance to rest. The nearly constant chatter in our heads keeps us preoccupied from experiencing anything internal.

Spreading Happiness One Person at a Time - An Interview With the Chief Happiness Officer

 

Spreading Happiness One Person at a Time - An Interview With the Chief Happiness Officer

By Anita Crawford Clark  |   Submitted On September 23, 2010

 

 

Spreading happiness one person at a time is the mission and vision of the founder of the "I am Happy Project" Edwin Edebiri. The first time I met him he handed me a card and on one side it asked a question: On a scale of 1 -10, how happy are you. And on the other side was a list of the "Ten Ways to Be Happy."

I have been following the happiness movement through the activities of the I am Happy Project. I was there when they visit the Shriner Children's Hospital in Sacramento and passed out dozens of the "I an Happy" pins for the children.

The First Annual Global Happiness Summit will take place October 2010 aboard the UUS Hornet in Alameda, California. With over a dozen speakers, vendors and activities, it promises to be a transformation event.

Edwin was happy to answer my questions and share his mission and vision for spreading happiness globally.

1. The Global Happiness Summit is billed as the most important and dynamic event in the history of the happiness movement. What is the happiness movement?

A: With all the focus on problems in the world, the happiness movement is a conscious effort to shift that and focus on happiness as an option.

2. What inspired you to become a leader in the happiness movement?

A: It was an answer to a very simple question, what can I do as an individual to shift people's mind from all the negative gloom and doom that was everywhere in the early 2009 to something more positive?

3. Why is spreading happiness important to you?

A: I do not like the direction things are heading. People killing others over little irritation, others depending on drugs for their day to day living and still more people pursuing their goals and dream at the expense of their happiness. It is a direction that has to be reversed and can be done if people understand and lay a foundation of happiness first.

4. How did you get the title - Chief Happiness Officer? And the name for "I am Happy Project?

A: CHO - In the beginning when I started going out talking to people, a young man came to one of the sessions I did and he said, Wow! You must be one of the "Head Honcho" of happiness?" I understood what he was getting at, but I thought how do I go around being the Head Honcho of Happiness - it didn't sound right. Well I didn't want to be CEO and so I said how about CHO. And he said that makes since - Chief Happiness Officer

As for the "I am Happy Project" There is three parts to it.

First is "I am" - I have always believe in the power of affirmation, I wanted it to be simple and present, as in this moment. This is what happiness is, now, not yesterday or tomorrow, just now.

Second part is "happy" this is what it is all about, to encourage people to focus on Happiness, talk about it and act upon it.

Finally is the "project" I wanted to make sure it was bigger than me and ongoing never ending work.
I was looking for a name that was self explanation, inclusive and ongoing, that is where the project came in.

5. What in your background specifically qualifies you to be a leader in the happiness movement?

A: First thing I tell people when it comes to qualification, is that I do not have a PhD in anything, I do not have training in Psychology or sociology (except me be what was required as general study for you undergraduate years) and finally, I am not a licensed counselor. I am just a happy guy that wants to see other people happy

6. What makes you proud about your involvement with the happiness movement?

A: The testimonies is definitely on top of the list, people write or tell me the impact it is having on their lives. The people I have attracted into the movement is totally awesome (like you). Finally, one of my early goals is to have the media talking about happiness as they talk about recession, and that is happening.

7. What does the future hold for the I am Happy Project?

A: To continue to spread happiness globally one person at a time. To encourage members to volunteer at hospitals, nursing home and group homes, raise money for great causes.

8. What makes the Global Happiness Summit and event that other people MUST attend and WHY?

A: The summit has two primary objectives, to help individuals increase and sustain their happiness and 10-10-10, (10 items to raise the global happiness index by 10 points over the next 10 years)

9. You have card that list 10 ways to be happy. How did you come up with that list?

A: After talking with over 700 people on the subject of happiness and they telling me what make them happy and unhappy, I decided to compile what people were telling me in an easy way to use.
(People were saying I should write a book, but I know that takes too much time and I wanted to get this out right way)

10. What do you think motivates people to become involved in the happiness movement? What motivated you to get into this unusual movement?

A: People truly feel good about helping other people. Helping to spread happiness is one very simple way to help people. When People ask me what do you do? When I say I spread happiness, they get excited and want to be a part of it.

11. If one of our readers thinks that "Happiness" is not attainable or sustainable, what would you say to convince them it is?

A: For one there is a lot of sciences that now back up that you can learn to be happy just like you learn most things. So I will encourage them to 1. Focus on happiness 2. Make time for it, 3. Learn some of the tools that make people happy - including the ten ways to be happy and to wear the "I am Happy" pin. 4. To spread happiness - You see, "Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself." Ralph Waldo Emerson

12. What is your final message to our readers?

A: Since whatever we focus on grows, Focus on Happiness and watch it grow in your life and in the world.

Visionary, Author and founder of Abundant Life Success Academy, Anita Crawford Clark helps thousands of entrepreneurs discover their purpose, back it with passion and live it joy. Whether leading a social media workshop, seminar or speaking you'll feel her contagious energy and passion in all she says and does.

See the Chief happiness Officer in his live interview on Sacramento & Company in this YouTube video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMwPvf7r54A To learn how you can help raise the level of happiness on the planet, get a free Ten ways to be happy card and find out more about the Global Happiness Summit visit http://IamHappyProject.org

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Anita_Crawford_Clark/708363

The Psychology of Happiness

 

The Psychology of Happiness

By Saberi Roy  |   Submitted On September 11, 2011

 

A lot has been written about happiness and from psychology to philosophy, different theories of happiness have focused on issues of satisfaction, contentment, and even spiritual liberation. But happiness is one of the most subjective mental states and several factors could be at play when a person is truly happy. Whereas anger or fear could be defined with physical reactions and certain behavioural patterns, this is not so for happiness and that is how happiness is extremely subjective. For example one bar of chocolate could make one child happy whereas another child would want two chocolate bars to feel truly happy.

So why do we feel happy? Happiness is usually associated with some kind of gain or attainment. When we achieve or attain something, we feel satisfied and this triggers happiness. The attainment does not have to be material, it could very well be spiritual. It could even be bodily and physical, just as an insomniac person would feel happy after a good night's sleep. So, in defining happiness we have to locate a specific material, spiritual or physical gain or attainment and the contentment arising as a result of this attainment. The question would arise whether it is possible to be happy without any attainment. I would say that it is not possible to happy without attaining something and this attainment does not have to be immediate and could be related any past achievement. Now, you could say that you do know someone who is always happy without any specific reason. It's that you haven't found out the reason for his happiness. He may be a simple man with simple needs and happy after a warm bath or a nice meal, so that's still some attainment. So, happiness always involves some attainment or need fulfilment, however small or big that is.

Psychologists have used several models including bio psychosocial and PERMA models to explain happiness suggesting that happiness is attained when our biological, psychological and sociological needs are met or when there is pleasure (bodily for instance), engagement (in some activity for instance), relationships, meaning (for instance purpose of life) and accomplishments. These models suggest that happiness involves something deeper than just our fleeting pleasures. I would differ and suggest that happiness being extremely subjective, some people may just be happy attaining pleasures whereas some others would seek meaning or possibly accomplishments and relationships. So the level or type of attainment that makes one happy would vary from one person to another.

Thus some people would be happy when their basic needs are fulfilled whereas some others would not be happy even after significant professional accomplishments as they may be expecting some other level or kind of achievement. Thus happiness largely depends on our subjective understanding of what it means to be happy. Since happiness is so subjective it cannot be strictly placed within models or frameworks although the underlying common factor that makes people happy is always some kind of attainment, gain or need fulfilment.

The next level of analysis would be whether happiness could be categorized to generalized happiness or a continued happy state of mind and specific happiness for attaining one of the specific pleasures or goals. I would suggest that there cannot be a generalized state of happiness without a specific reason. A seemingly happy person may not be genuinely happy or may be genuinely happy as he may have attained an exalted spiritual state or accumulated substantial wealth. So again as we see a continued state of happiness could also be explained with attainment.

The need fulfilment or attainment that triggers happiness could be biological such as bodily pleasures as when we quench our thirst, satisfy physical desires etc. The attainment could be social when we form relationships and feel happy or simply talk to strangers at a large event or remain engaged in social activity, or the attainment could be spiritual when we seek and even find some kind of spiritual liberation. The attainment or need fulfilment could be psychological when our love needs are fulfilled or when we reach our goals or fulfil our ambitions. The biological, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of attainment could provide happiness according to their needs. Thus happiness is intricately tied to our specific needs although these needs could be interrelated as for example the need for status or power could be both social and psychological.

Thus we distinguish the factors that could lead to happiness

1. Biological (bodily pleasures, basic needs)

2. Social (status, relationships, social activity and engagement)

3. Psychological (emotional, love, friendship, personal accomplishments)

4. Spiritual (finding meaning and purpose, transpersonal needs)

There could be several reactions to happiness and this could range from smiling to engaging in rigorous physical activity as happiness could mean a sudden surge in energy levels. People who engage in physical activity are more likely to be happy due to improved blood circulation and general good health. However happiness being an extremely subjective emotional state, in order to feel genuinely happy, some achievement in terms of long term goals such as love or conjugal life, wealth, spiritual liberation, or professional achievement could help a person to attain a continued happy state of mind. This is the prolonged state of happiness that has causes similar to any transient state of happiness although the effects could be long lasting. The people who have a prolonged state of happiness are generally lively, sporty, fun loving and optimistic. A child may show a prolonged state of happiness when adequate care and love are provided by their parents or carers. However transient states of happiness are more common as prolonged states of happiness could be interrupted by adverse life events so momentary joys and pleasures provide us with reassurance to accept and embrace life.

From a more psychoanalytic point of view, happiness would be related to desire, libido, our energy levels and even the defense mechanisms that we unconsciously use to vent out our frustration and thus remain happy or calm. Happiness would naturally raise our libidinal levels and make us more energetic and high levels of energy could in turn make us happy, so this process is cyclical. Several scientific studies have shown that happiness is directly related to our levels of energy.

Considering defense mechanisms, psychoanalysis could in a way suggest that happiness is actually acting out or reaction formation when we show certain reactions that may be completely opposite to what we feel. For example in reaction formation we may show happiness, when in reality we are sad or depressed. Although genuine happiness could be explained with psychoanalysis as well, as for example, an artist is genuinely happy when he can sublimate his desires to socially acceptable forms of expression through his creativity. A sportsman is genuinely happy when he can channel his aggressive or sexual desires through sport or rigorous activity. So these defense mechanisms in psychoanalysis could actually produce genuine happiness in people because of the inherent survival and coping strategies involved in these defenses.

Finally, happiness being a state of mind would be entirely subjective and would evoke extreme subjective reactions. For instance, someone laughs on hearing a joke and feel happy about it and someone else would be sarcastic or may not feel the same level of excitement. Whereas anger and other emotions could be explained in terms of physical responses, happiness usually does not have defined physical responses although there is a general positive feeling of well being and the physical responses could vary considerably. As I have stated on the psychology of emotions, it would be necessary to determine the components of feeling and bodily reaction for every emotion including happiness and psychology has an extensive research project to consider for the future.

Reflections in Psychology - Part I - by Saberi Roy (2009)

http://www.lulu.com/content/5865445

Reflections in Psychology - Part II - by Saberi Roy (2011)

[http://www.saberiroy.com]

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Saberi_Roy/250992

Prove Yourself To Yourself Not To Others

 

Prove Yourself To Yourself Not To Others

By Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales  |   Submitted On December 29, 2020

 

You have nothing to prove. Care less about who you are to other people and more about who you are to yourself. You will have fewer feelings of grief and dissatisfaction the moment you prevent looking for from others the approval no one but YOU can give yourself.

It's difficult to satisfy everybody. A few people will consistently mention to you what you fouled up, and afterward wonder whether or not to praise you for what you did well. Try not to be one of them, and don't endure them. At the point when you run into somebody who ruins you, slights you and treats you inadequately for no evident explanation by any means, don't burn-through yourself with attempting to transform them or win their endorsement. Furthermore, be certain not to leave any space in your heart to abhor them. Basically leave and let karma manage the things they state and do, on the grounds that any piece of time you spend on these individuals will be squandered, and any piece of scorn and exacerbation in your heart will just damage you eventually.

Life isn't a race; you don't have anything to demonstrate. Everybody needs to get to the highest point of the mountain first and yell, "Take a gander at me! Take a gander at me!" But actually, all your joy and development happens while you're climbing, not while you're sitting at the top. Appreciate the excursion by focusing on each progression. Try not to race through your life and miss it. Disregard where every other person is comparing you. This isn't a race.

Relinquish the absurd need to substantiate yourself to every other person, and you'll free yourself to achieve what is important most to you. At times you need to advise yourself that you don't need to consistently be and do what every other person is being and doing.

You don't need to consistently be correct, you simply need to not be too stressed over being off-base. Spoiling is important for the cycle. Seeming as though an idiot some of the time is the solitary path forward. If you make a decent attempt to intrigue every other person with your flawlessness, you will hinder your development. You will invest all your energy looking a specific way, rather than living a specific way.

It's difficult to live without flopping in some cases, except if you live so carefully that you're not generally living by any means - you just exist. In case you're excessively terrified of flopping before others, you can't in any way, shape or form do what should be done to be fruitful in your own eyes. You need to recall that it doesn't make a difference how often you come up short or how muddled your excursion is, inasmuch as you don't quit stepping forward. Eventually, the individuals who don't mind that disappointment is unavoidable are the ones that arrive at their fantasies. YOU can be one of them.

At the point when you wind up caught between what moves you and what society advises you is ideal for you, generally venture to every part of the course that causes you to feel invigorated - except if you need everybody to be upbeat, aside from you. Regardless of where life takes you, large urban communities or humble communities, you will definitely go over other people who think they understand what's best for you - others who believe they're superior to you - individuals who think satisfaction, achievement and excellence mean very similar things to everybody.

They'll attempt to gauge your value dependent on what you have, rather than what your identity is. However, you know in a way that is better than that - material things don't make a difference. Try not to pursue the cash. Make up for lost time to the thoughts and exercises that make you wake up. Go for the things of more noteworthy worth - the things cash can't accepting. What is important is having strength of character, a legit heart, and a self-appreciation worth. In case you're sufficiently fortunate to have any of these things, never sell them. Never undercut yourself.

In each circumstance you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one repeating theme is you. It is your duty and yours alone, to perceive that paying little heed to what has occurred so far in your life, you are fit for settling on decisions to change your circumstance, or to change the manner in which you consider everything. Try not to let the assessments of others meddle with this predominant reality.

What you're equipped for accomplishing isn't an element of what others believe is feasible for you. What you're equipped for accomplishing relies completely upon what you decide to do with your time and energy. So quit agonizing over others opinion.

Let others accept you as you are, or not at all. By being consistent with yourself, you put something stunning into the world that was not there previously. You are staggering when your enthusiasm and strength radiates through as you follow your own way - when you're not occupied by the assessments of others. You are incredible when you let your mix-ups teach you, and your certainty works from firsthand experiences. When you realize you can tumble down, get yourself, and push ahead without requesting any one else's permission.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Rosemarie_Sumalinog_Gonzales/1972656

 

Abraham Hicks | You Were Meant To Hear This Today | Law Of Attraction 2020 (LOA)

 

Feeling Full of Unconditional Happiness ~ 10 minute guided meditation

 

 

Do You Perceive Obstacles As Problems, Challenges, Or Both/ Neither?

By Richard Brody  |   Submitted On December 29, 2020

 

Although, at some time, or another, nearly, everyone confronts certain obstacles (some, major, and some, less - so), how one handles these, and proceeds, in - response, often, differentiates, between, a satisfying experience, and one, which may become, problematic! When you face these, do you, immediately, perceive them, as a problem (which, in the longer - run, may be, somewhat, debilitating), or a challenge, to overcome? In, over four decades, of personal involvement, related to personal development, and self - help/ improvement, especially, making, perhaps, thousands of these types of seminars, and/ or, work - shops, I have observed, both scenarios, and the significant difference, in one's life, it makes. With that in mind, this article will attempt to, briefly, consider, examine, review, and discuss, what this means, and represents, and why it matters.

1. A Problem: How often have you, either said, or heard, someone, else, say, I have a problem, or, This will be a problem, etc? When, one perceives something, as problematic, it creates, a mind - set, of, something, which is troubling, disturbing, etc. It, often, means, either, taking, some sort of short - cut, and/ or, settling for a path, of least resistance, or resorting to procrastination, which is rarely, either, healthy, productive, and, usually, creates, emotional, mental, and personal distress, which interferes with personal productivity, etc.

2. A Challenge: Consider, this, in its similarity, to, participating, in sports, etc. When, a great athlete, faces an obstacle (usually, some game - situation, often, a significant one, against a challenging opponent, or in a key, often - stressful, situation), he considers it, a challenge, to overcome, which usually, creates a feeling of excitement, etc. We often, hear about, the great ones, who, always, want the ball, when time is running - out, on the clock, and consider it, a personal challenge, for them, to show their greatness, by how, they handle, this opportunity. In our personal lives, as well as business, and organizational/ civic ones, we often are faced with several obstacles, thrust, in our path. If, we spend our time, worrying, and thinking - about, what might go wrong, and/ or, be problematic, we rarely overcome it, but, when we perceive it, as a challenge, we become proactive, and seek viable solutions, to create, our best - possible, Plan B!

3. Both/ Neither: Some perceive these, as, partially, a problem, and part - obstacle! Usually, those aspects, which they think - of, as the latter, are successfully, overcome, and, the results in the first scenario, are, often, far - less, fulfilling! A few people, refuse to face these, and, thus, neither, consider them, as one, or another. However, denial, doesn't make anything, go - away!

How might you handle, the obstacles, you face? Will you perceive, debilitating problems, and/ or, challenges, to overcome? Your potential will be affected, by how, you proceed!

Richard has owned businesses, been a COO, CEO, Director of Development, consultant, professionally run events, consulted to thousands of leaders, and conducted personal development seminars, for 4 decades. Rich has written three books and thousands of articles. His company, PLAN2LEAD, LLC has an informative website http://plan2lead.net and Plan2lead can also be followed on Facebook http://facebook.com/Plan2lead

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Richard_Brody/492539